Cynthia Luvs, 8th April
I'm astonishingly awkward, easily affected and extremely negative.

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For those who can't read Chinese, the title for today is 'I love my mom!'

I really love her although we might quarrel and have cold war at times but still, she's my mom and will always be!

For those who didn't know, I grew up in a single-parent family. I had a real useless father who brings nothing but troubles to the family like why can't he find a proper job and support the family like what a guy would do. Why did he gamble so much and owe so much debts outside, making my mom slog her guts out to pay for his 'hobby'. What he could do was to gamble, drink and womanize! Lack of cash? Steal mom's gold jewelry to pawn/sell and my mom's money until my mom had nothing left to herself, running up to many debts. I apologize if I sound mean saying about my dad in this way but it's the fact!

My siblings and I share a different father yet my father is the one that cause her all the misery. I know she do blame me in her heart somehow for what my father had done and cause her to be that's why I promise myself I must make it up to her even though she show obvious favoritism.


My life wasn't as easy and simple like other kids since young. Everyone thought I had a rather good life because I'm fleshy and fat. I do not eat alot despite my size ._.

I do not attend school often, not because I'm lazy, it's because I'm too busy and tired. Bullshit? Try helping out at mixed veg stall by waking up at 5 in the morning, prepare and take the MRT from the west to East, get yourself busy the whole day and get to sleep only at 1-2am. I literally look like 20 years old although I was 10 at that time. Not to say about mom who slog double harder than me. She slimmed down alot; tired face and body, sleep deprivation and emotional stress about stall rental and debts.

Just to clear doubts, the stall wasn't mom who wanted to start up! It was started by my uncle and aunt who signed a year contract yet they couldn't cook well thus, mom quitted her originally well-paid job to help them out. As soon as she does that, that realistic aunt quickly throw the burden to mom and find a better job outside. Mom then got uncle to find another job while she manage the stall solely. In my view is, you all have a family to feed, how about my mom? Selfish much?

1 year at Simpang Bedok selling mixed veg rice, 1 year at Ubi selling the same stuffs until mom's few k savings were used up. With no other options, she had to work as a buffet driver which has irregular working time which was easier for her to take care of sis's baby.

Working as a buffet driver wasn't easy. You have to carry tables; big pots of food, buffet tray utensils and set up at customer's stuffs. Worse case is when the location has no lift! You have to carry all the items up to the level the customer's stays! Highest level we did before was 5th storey, really 要命! Plus, she's still a woman!


Due to some family problem, we didn't had to take care of the baby thus, mom could get a proper job @ Courts which pay rather well and job scope wasn't as tough as previous jobs.

I really admire and love my mom alot. She didn't gave up on herself and her own family despite having 2 failed marriages, working through many tough jobs and even get look down by those sickening relatives who comment saying that she work as a buffet driver is low-class job! Seriously they should fuck themselves and die! Raised 3 children of her own up herself and even her granddaughter who are no longer staying with us. Had to pay off my father's debts and family living expenses. Her life were really rough and tough, slogging her guts out to feed us yet my sister didn't appreciate and even disown her.

Although she's tied up to her neck with many work, bills and debts, she actually spent the time to hear my complains or just random talks with me. It may seems really not a big deal but it's really heartwarming. Although I didn't reach her expectations academically but I promised her I will work hard in Fashion Hooks and she always supports my decision in Fashion Hooks, giving me suggestions and ideas or even raising money for me to get stocks or pay for advertorials.

She also makes the effort to cook for us in the morning before she leaves for work which means she had to wake up earlier and has less sleep yet she did it for us without any complaints. That's why I always make it a point to finish as much as she cook because it's her effort and stuffs. Despite her not having much money, she will still buy good food for us and never starves us!

When she heard that I'm planning to lose weight, she bought loads of fruits for me to eat after my meals and even encourage me to eat by eating them with me after her work.

When I'm having a bad mood due to some bad comments at my formspring or any other stuffs, she always hear my complains and encourage me alot.

I was really stupid to place my friend as priority during secondary school days and often neglect my mom and family. In the end, my mom is the one who really stood by my sides when everything went falling apart.

Mom,


XOXO,
Cynthia Luvs

Labels: Dedication, Mom