Cynthia Luvs, 8th April
I'm astonishingly awkward, easily affected and extremely negative.

Histories July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 February 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 June 2014 July 2014 August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 December 2014 January 2015 February 2015 March 2015 April 2015 May 2015 June 2015 July 2015 August 2015 September 2015 October 2015 November 2015 December 2015 January 2016 February 2016 March 2016 April 2016 May 2016 June 2016 July 2016 August 2016 September 2016 October 2016 November 2016 December 2016 February 2017 April 2017

Shall not talk much on lower Secondary school life because the two years was 100 times shittier than P5-P6! Couldn't really recollect any truly happy stuffs so yup!

My lower secondary school life was sad, tolerate, angry, pissed, maligned, hated, slutty, misunderstood, all the bad stuffs. 90% spread were untrue except for bad-tempered bitch! Lucky I survive that fucking 2 years, thanks to my Grandpa and Mom whom actually was there while I was isolated by the class and schoolmates if not I think I will suicide ! X)

Didn't actually attend school often like I attend school only when I have the mood because I feel so unwelcome there like some unwanted people. LOL, I'm always unwanted anyway. Extra anywhere I go. Was really emo during that period of time, my blog was always filled with emo and sad words and stuffs. My mind was always literally filled with suicidal thoughts. I really hated living and definitely living like some zombies.

One of my uncle passed away when I was in sec 2 if I'm not wrong. Another blow to me because it really makes me cherish the people beside me even more. We do not know what might happens the next minute.


Things got better in Sec 3, I got a clique whom I really cherish and treasure alot. Jasmine, Mervin, YongXuan and Belle! And also I got into different class from those bitches! There's only 2 class for express stream at that time so yeah, super lucky though there's still classmates which wasn't on good terms with me ! :D

I really love school during sec 3 but didn't attend often because I need to help mom with the buffet deliveries as she couldn't manage alone and Grandpa couldn't help in carrying the stuffs too so yeah, I always try to blend in with the clique and seems like the leader because when we discuss about going where, everyone would be anything and end up, I will be the one deciding! X)


Well, good things never last. Our friendship went haywire in 2010. Was real upset but there's was nothing I could do to salvage the friendship. Broken means broken, even if we got back as a clique, there won't be anymore trust. Did a post on that before, click here!

I thought I had alot to talk about on secondary school life but well, I think I don't. Don't really like the feeling of reminiscing something which won't be the same anymore.

Was only in contact with Jasmine and Mervin after O levels ended, while waiting for our results. Jasmine was my really close best friends, closer than some blood-bond sisters.


I really miss how we were a few months before, how she came over my house every weekday to do some Fashion Hooks stuffs or pure slacking and h2h talks together. How we actually lunch, dinner, grocery shopping, movies, webcam, window shopping, arcade or celebrate birthdays together. Or even some crazy stuffs like how we act cute or act angry to each other.

Those are the things I could never forget. And most importantly, I couldn't forget how nice you was and how close we were but now, we end up having nothing to say and you didn't even give me the rights to contact you.

I really wish for the day you would take the initiative to SMS or call me, even if it's just a 'Hi, How are you?' thing. There were many times when I took up my phone, wanting to contact you but I'm really afraid you would reject my call since the last message I got from you was 'Don't SMS/call me again'.


4 years plus sistership, down to drain. I cried for days after that last message from you, really heart breaking. And we didn't contact each other anymore.

It took me quite long to get use to days without my best friend until I managed to learn to go out and socialize with friends without having my bestf to accompany me. That's how sticky I am.

Slowly, things got better and I know a few awesome new friends and of course, Mervin, Gengyi, Priscilla and Miko whom really help me alot in becoming me now. Mom was also helping and counseling me alot because losing my best friend was really a big blow to me. Good thing is I'm getting independent and less bad-tempered as last time but the bad thing is, I forgot how to put 100% into a friendship. I still miss my bestfriend whom might not remember me anymore...

Well, shits happens but life goes on.

Labels: Life Journey