Cynthia Luvs, 8th April
I'm astonishingly awkward, easily affected and extremely negative.

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Shall not talk much on lower Secondary school life because the two years was 100 times shittier than P5-P6! Couldn't really recollect any truly happy stuffs so yup!

My lower secondary school life was sad, tolerate, angry, pissed, maligned, hated, slutty, misunderstood, all the bad stuffs. 90% spread were untrue except for bad-tempered bitch! Lucky I survive that fucking 2 years, thanks to my Grandpa and Mom whom actually was there while I was isolated by the class and schoolmates if not I think I will suicide ! X)

Didn't actually attend school often like I attend school only when I have the mood because I feel so unwelcome there like some unwanted people. LOL, I'm always unwanted anyway. Extra anywhere I go. Was really emo during that period of time, my blog was always filled with emo and sad words and stuffs. My mind was always literally filled with suicidal thoughts. I really hated living and definitely living like some zombies.

One of my uncle passed away when I was in sec 2 if I'm not wrong. Another blow to me because it really makes me cherish the people beside me even more. We do not know what might happens the next minute.


Things got better in Sec 3, I got a clique whom I really cherish and treasure alot. Jasmine, Mervin, YongXuan and Belle! And also I got into different class from those bitches! There's only 2 class for express stream at that time so yeah, super lucky though there's still classmates which wasn't on good terms with me ! :D

I really love school during sec 3 but didn't attend often because I need to help mom with the buffet deliveries as she couldn't manage alone and Grandpa couldn't help in carrying the stuffs too so yeah, I always try to blend in with the clique and seems like the leader because when we discuss about going where, everyone would be anything and end up, I will be the one deciding! X)


Well, good things never last. Our friendship went haywire in 2010. Was real upset but there's was nothing I could do to salvage the friendship. Broken means broken, even if we got back as a clique, there won't be anymore trust. Did a post on that before, click here!

I thought I had alot to talk about on secondary school life but well, I think I don't. Don't really like the feeling of reminiscing something which won't be the same anymore.

Was only in contact with Jasmine and Mervin after O levels ended, while waiting for our results. Jasmine was my really close best friends, closer than some blood-bond sisters.


I really miss how we were a few months before, how she came over my house every weekday to do some Fashion Hooks stuffs or pure slacking and h2h talks together. How we actually lunch, dinner, grocery shopping, movies, webcam, window shopping, arcade or celebrate birthdays together. Or even some crazy stuffs like how we act cute or act angry to each other.

Those are the things I could never forget. And most importantly, I couldn't forget how nice you was and how close we were but now, we end up having nothing to say and you didn't even give me the rights to contact you.

I really wish for the day you would take the initiative to SMS or call me, even if it's just a 'Hi, How are you?' thing. There were many times when I took up my phone, wanting to contact you but I'm really afraid you would reject my call since the last message I got from you was 'Don't SMS/call me again'.


4 years plus sistership, down to drain. I cried for days after that last message from you, really heart breaking. And we didn't contact each other anymore.

It took me quite long to get use to days without my best friend until I managed to learn to go out and socialize with friends without having my bestf to accompany me. That's how sticky I am.

Slowly, things got better and I know a few awesome new friends and of course, Mervin, Gengyi, Priscilla and Miko whom really help me alot in becoming me now. Mom was also helping and counseling me alot because losing my best friend was really a big blow to me. Good thing is I'm getting independent and less bad-tempered as last time but the bad thing is, I forgot how to put 100% into a friendship. I still miss my bestfriend whom might not remember me anymore...

Well, shits happens but life goes on.

Labels: Life Journey

Part 2 of Cynthia's Life Journey would be on Primary School which wasn't an easy period of time.

Moved back to Mom's house at Jurong and made Grandpa to stay with us because I'm a very sticky person. My primary school was located opposite the house which was rather convenient with chains of shops behind our house! :)

Primary 1 to 3 was pretty alright because I'm actually the good student in class who doesn't talk alot although I'm talkative but I know when to keep my mouth shut. I do all my homeworks and hand them up on time, just the typical 'guai kia' in class. Didn't have much good friends though, find everyone backstabbing me, lol!

My happiest moment were actually with the family; Mom and Grandpa. Would explore around Singapore and take many pictures on Mom's off day! Something crazy like this..


Went down all the way after Primary 4 because my form teacher place me in a lousier class just because my Science got a B only :( Lost all my mood and hope for studying, began to skip school and went to help out at Mom's stall lying that there's no school for the day. I actually skipped like 1 month out of the Primary 4 year excluding MC etc.

I didn't even had a single good friend in class because I didn't attend school often thus, I always mix with the boys. Something I hate about girls is they doesn't want to talk to you and when you mix/talk to the boys, they badmouth you. Nevermind, got used to it already.

Results obviously weren't as good as those who really study but at that point of time, I really lose hope in studying. Passed fairly and got into Primary 5, one class lousier ._.


Primary 5 and Primary 6 were about the same be it on studies or people. Studies were really normal because I couldn't catch up the class, just that sometimes heng heng top the class for a test or something. People wise is once I and someone become good friends, this someone will sure backstab me and spread bullshits about me, spoiling my mood which was bad enough helping me to hate school even more. I can totally feel and see how they despise me from their eyes and actions be it on me not attending school and my not-rich family..

Usually help up at mom's stall when I skipped school and although it's really tough and tiring but at least I was truly happy at that moment. I can feel love and concern from Mom and Grandpa which mainly the reason how I got through 2 shittiest years!

Grandma passed away and we were holding funeral when the results were released. I totally didn't had the mood to collect but what to do? I had to. Her death was too sudden and actually affected me alot. It was the first time I lost someone so dear to me, whom actually took care of me for 12 years. She often say she hate and dislike me but I always feel the love from her whenever I stay over at her house during school holidays.


PSLE were fine, at least I got into the express stream unlike what my 'kind and nice' relatives expect! Sometimes I really hate them despising us just because my family isn't rich and complete. Fuck you all. And I can't take their shits like comparing results and jeering at us when it's my grandma's funeral!

Thanks for reading! Part 3 on Secondary School life to be up soon

Labels: Life Journey

Received a blogging topic from a formspringer asking me to blog about my life journey since young! I've really interesting life journey and I think 10 posts isn't enough to cover every single details but I would try to 长话短说, cut it short if possible!

Please pardon me if most of the posts are pictures because I was purely slacking my life before Kindergarden X)

Life journey starts from 4 months old,

Have been living with my grandparents since born, at Bedok with Gengyi who was also left there for grandparents to take care.

Mom was actually rather pitiful because there's no one to take care of me and Grandma didn't want to take care of me because she hates my father for being a irresponsible man. Mom was in such a difficult position because she had to work and couldn't bring a baby with her to work. Luckily, grandpa agreed to take care of me on behalf of mom and Grandma didn't really like me since young but she's the kind that is hard and fierce on outside but warm inside. In the end, she also did help in taking care of me.


Am really appreciative of what my grandparents did to take good care of me although I'm not hard to take care. Also thanks mom for making the effort to travel from West to East on her off day to bring me out or visit me ♥

1 years old onward,


I was a kid whom doesn't have any toys to play since young because Grandma didn't want my mom to waste money on unnecessary stuffs like toys thus, I really love to visit aunt's house whom have alot toys! My eyes auto blink blink ah! X) Was really shocked and happy when Grandpa bought me quite a few sets of toys when I'm having chicken pox! Appreciated ^^

Was actually quite girly since young until I went crazy over Power Rangers during 5-6 years old! Totally behaving like a boy except that I do not have a dick, LOLOLOL!


During Kindergarten days, I was just a nerd! Lol, I excel in studies and put real effort in writing because I can't stand untidy handwriting. I will actually rewrite and rewrite until I reached my expectations! Sound like a sick, lol!

And there was this classmate kept stealing my stuffs be it keychain, pencil or anything that she can kope. Terrible person! She even took my phonebook which my uncle have me for emergency use, told the teacher and this girl even claim that it's hers! WTFBBQ!

Was also a flower girl for Aunt's wedding with one of my cousin, Geraldine whom also had her ROM yesterday!


Miss the family last time; so complete... Miss my Grandma too! :(

Shall update more on my Primary school life in Cynthia's Life Journey Part 2 which will be coming soon! :D

Labels: Life Journey