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About
 Cynthia Luvs, 8th April I'm astonishingly awkward, easily affected and extremely negative. Contact Me
Nuffnang
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Posted on 01 March 2012 ♥ What a good way to start off a new month by having only 6 hours of sleep despite being sleep deprived for 2 days and I can't get to sleep now.Having nothing to do, no one to talk to, being so aimless, sick of living like this because all the thoughts starts gushing out of my mind whenever I'm alone. I hate over-analyzing things but what to do and how to react when everything that happens are just facts. Reality sucks, everyone and everything is so cruel. How much you give does not equals to how much you gonna receives back. The feeling of being backup plan, spare tyre and someone whom everyone start to look for when they need help. The feeling of only existing when I'm needed. The feeling of going all out for people everytime and yet never seeing them there when you ever need someone. Sucks but this is how I feel every single day. I go through my days, pretending nothing is wrong. Protecting my family and friends from what I feel. Everytime they ask how I am, I always reply "Fine." I never am fine, never good, or well. I wear a mask of happiness and joy, so that they won't suspect the depth or severity of my pain.  Nobody could hear my cries at night For I designed my mask to hide the lies. Nobody could see the pain I was feeling For I designed my mask to be laughing. I’m a daughter hiding my depression I’m a sister making a good impression I’m your friend acting like I’m fine I’m a teenager pushing her tears aside I’m the girl sitting next to you I’m the one asking you to care I’m your best friend hoping that you'll be there Sometimes things get weird; The less you know, the less you hurt. Sometimes people you trust may deceive you; Say stuff that truly affects you, your heart hallow and empty. Sometimes without any signs, things mess up, leaving you bare. I tend to get caught up pretty easily, leading to disappointments. People tell me to trust but every time I do: I regret. People talk. People stare. People gossip. All I want is a new start in life... Move to another continent, Forget everyone here, New beginning, I'm tired of feeling so alone even though I'm surrounded...   别人不开心了，想尽一切办法逗别人开心。 自己都没有多少的东西，也恨不得一股脑的都分给别人。 可是我也是有心有感觉的，也会疲惫也会抱怨，可是别人只会埋怨我变了，开始瞎想开始胡闹。 原來我只是突然累了 原來我不說了 原來我撐著撐到麻了 How much would I miss, if I decide to go And how much hurt makes me lean towards the edge Is slowly creeping up the hedge How much longer can I last? Before my life becomes one of the past. Labels: Thoughts |