Cynthia Luvs, 8th April
I'm astonishingly awkward, easily affected and extremely negative.

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Times like this makes me feel like blog is my bestfriend, a place for me to type down how I really feel now. I don't really care about how people is going to judge me based on my blog because I'm not born to please anyone and I'm so sick of trying to please people.

Just another "down" day, "down" moment. I hate the night, those memories came gushing up like free flow which came to be abit too much for me to handle. I think about the past and I fall apart inside. How do you expect me to talk to anyone else because it's just the same old thing. I really miss certain people whom used to be a important part of my life but what's the point of me telling when those people ain't gonna be back anymore and even if so, the distance and all won't be the same anymore.

But somehow, I still want them to be back into my life though it's like I can shove bread down someone's throat but its still up to them to decide if they want to swallow or not. Sometimes, it's not the person that I miss, it's the feelings and moments I had with them. Sigh, memories.

Reason why I hate to make friends is because in the end, everyone leaves and what's really left are the memories. People whom I really trust nowadays are really getting lesser and lesser, maybe I don't have the trust left to hand it to people. I'm so tired of getting disappointed that's why I no longer pin my hopes higher because sooner or later, they will leave...

Because in the end, I'm left with myself or I would have already lost myself somewhere in life.

Labels: Thoughts